Recall the summers when you were a child, blessedly free of school, living somewhere other than the Lower East Side of Manhattan, when you would wile away hours lying in the grass and watching butterflies pass overhead? You weren’t in Tompkins Square Park, and you weren’t tripping on acid. Remember? Perhaps you do, perhaps you don’t. Maybe this didn’t even happen. But the collective consciousness of New York City seems to feel that “backyards” are nice, probably because so many of us don’t have them, and so, some entrepreneurial party people in the city are trying to make money off of that. It’s true — 3,200 square, grass-covered, feet at 145 Ludlow will be rented out for $50 an hour, starting August 11. This is being called a “backyard time share,” and can be booked through firstname.lastname@example.org for barbecues, hammock-reclining, pogo-sticking, or whatever you want to do in a backyard.
This represents something. That the recession’s over? That the recession is still happening? That we are starved, starved, starved, for a little bit of semi-private green space? That some of us should have simply gone in on a Hamptons share, screw the cost?
Whatever it is, it has already picked up the “only in New York” appellation. Because only in New York would people be convinced that other people would pay $50 to sit in a yard bigger than an apartment but smaller than a park in between some buildings and only in New York would people do it. If you sod it, they will come.
FYI: There might also be, for extra, a slip-and-slide and a kiddie pool, which, like, changes everything. Except that there’s no booze license. But you can book a girl in a white tee to spray with a hose, apparently. Reserve a spot soon!
(Can we come?)
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