Equality

I Know Why Bert And Ernie Can’t Get Married

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Fans of cloth creatures with hands inside them have rallied to sign a petition urging Sesame Street roommates Bert and Ernie to tie the knot, as I’ve always felt would be the perfectly natural thing for these ultra-close and very fashionable puppets to do.

There’s apparently just one reason why this can’t happen, though.

According to my exclusive sources, Bert is secretly planning to marry Tinky Winky!