As you might have heard, Beyoncé is playing four shows at Roseland this week in celebration of her new album 4, the first of which sold out in 22 seconds! I had the pleasure of attending last night’s opener, and as Maura noted in her review, “Nobody has pipes like her right now. Not a single person out there”. In honor of Queen Bey’s reign over New York this week, I convinced Maura to let me host Beyoncé Week on Sound of the City—to be honest, this was an excuse for me, as a megafan, to watch lots of music videos and do some extensive Google Image Searches. (I should note that I’m not as serious as some of the stone-faced stans at last night’s show, one of whom asked me if my glasses were broken because “Can’t you see you’re not getting through?!”) To kick things off, here are my five favorite videos in her catalog involving telephones.
5. “Telephone” (with Lady Gaga)
The outfits! The scary “rage on the bed” dance moves! The black lipstick! Remember when this video dropped and you had to stay up after midnight to watch it and everyone was talking about cigarette sunglasses? Not me. I was talking about Bey’s growly face.
4. If I Were A Boy
Two things: 1, if I were committing a crime, and police officer Beyoncé came to arrest me, I would immediately stop committing said crime and feel really guilty for making her waste her time; and 2, if I knew Beyoncé was ignoring my phone calls, I would probably cry a thousand tears.
So many out-of-date things in this video, even though it’s only 12 years old—patched jeans, suede cowboy hats, AOL email, beepers, pagers, LaTavia Roberson, LeToya Luckett.
2. Video Phone (with Lady Gaga)
OK, so instead of actually talking on a phone, B’s dancing for those suited-up men with the video cameras for heads. A lot of friends of Sound of the City pushed for this to top the list and I totally understand why—the outfits alone! (I really want the oversized sequined sweater that makes an appearance toward the end.)
1. Why Don’t You Love Me
Where to begin? The retro-glam outfits, the oversized martini glass, the rolling around on the bed sobbing with eye makeup running down her face… not only is this our favorite Bey video where she’s pretending to talk on the phone, this is our favorite Bey video ever. No one else can make doing household chores (dusting Grammys!) simultaneously look this good and this sad.