Today was the 15th anniversary of their initial meeting, when Jim, a fan, went to introduce himself to and fawn over Frank at his Barnes & Noble book reading.
It ended better than Misery.
So this morning, on Frank’s Sirius XM OutQ show, they married in a ceremony that was both hilarious and heartfelt.
Presiding was comic Lizz Winstead, who thanked Marcus Bachmann for having done her and Lisa Lampanelli‘s hair so beautifully. (“He’s always available,” she added.)
Lizz also talked about the great love betwen Frank and Jim, claiming, “Even Fred Phelps said, ‘Fuck it — I won’t protest this one.'”
And then she started crying! I’d never seen a comic cry before, so I started crying!
And then the vows.
Said Colucci, “I promise always to remain your biggest fan.”
Said DeCaro: “I promise to stand by you unwaveringly through thick and some day, God willing, through thin.”
The high point had a nun from the Catholic channel walk by, just as Winstead was declaring the guys “husband and husband,” leading to a big smooch.
I hope she also caught the previous part where Winstead said, “I was told I could not pronounce you top and bottom”!
But the divine sister couldn’t have been too rankled. Earlier, Winstead had read from what she insisted was the bible–namely Vogue magazine’s August issue, the one about aging.
It made me a believer.
Congratulations, my fellow Italian-American mozzarella-loving campy gays.
And your little dog, too!