Advice To Gerard Depardieu After Plane Urination Incident

So, French legend Gerard Depardieu peed on an Air France jet’s carpet after being told by a flight attendant that he couldn’t use le bathroom until the plane was at its cruising altitude.

This resulted in le horror, delays, and a terrible odor.

So Gerard, I have this advice to you so you can avoid such future travesties:

*Go back to preschool, where kids first learn how to be toilet-trained. Maybe you missed that day or weren’t paying attention?

*Get yourself some of those leakage pads they regularly advertise on TV — though you’re going to need so many of them I doubt you’ll be able to get them past customs.

*Hold it in.

*And don’t start getting any other bright ideas about ways to relieve yourself in public.

After all, we don’t want you to go from Oscar-nominated screen icon to Gerard Depardieu-dieu.