Everybody Is Lying About Their Age Now


Can we all just say that we’re 21, and pretend to be 21, and live that way forever? Except, you know, 21 kind of sucked. It was all about not knowing how to drink properly and feeling weird in your own dewy, nubile flesh, and trying to get a first, terrible job. And, if we all say we’re 21, inevitably some jerk will show up and say he or she is 37 and will be so unique and different that 21 will not be so interesting, because, frankly, it’s not. This is all to say that the New York Post today has explored a new trend — called new because it’s among men; women, of course, have been doing it for years — the “trend” of lying about one’s age. Apparently 37-year-old men are saying they’re 33, so as not to be faced with age discrimination on the dating scene. 39-year-old men are going with “mid-30s.”And 40-year-old men? Don’t even ask.

But! Instead of feeling disconcerted or angry about this, we should all rejoice. Age truly will be nothing but a number (and an unimportant one at that) when it turns out we’re all full of shit. (Can we all agree to be full of shit, in the nicest way possible?) Note: Never look at your boyfriend’s I.D. when he’s in the shower. The truth can be upsetting, which is why we should avoid it as much as possible. Who knows what strange feelings it will bring forth? Best to avoid that. 30. Now, that was a good age.

As for this “men lying about their ages” thing being a new trend, however, this blogger calls bullshit. Men have been lying about their age since at least the ’90s, when a 26-year-old told her he was 23; when conveyed to her mother, that became 19. And surely it goes back to far more historic times.

Because, as we’ve all learned in our old age: Sometimes a lie is just more palatable than the truth. It’s just…the older you get, the better you get at it. Someone, capitalize on the market for reverse fake-IDs, stat.

Previously: Single People Are Doomed

Me? I’m 32. Really! [NYP]