Art Gallery Poop Mystery Reeks of Intrigue


There’s a mystery on the Bowery, and like all good whodunits it involves money, power, and feces hurtling through the air. The Post reports that the Sperone Westwater Gallery is involved in a property-line dispute with Charles Saulson, their neighbor. Mr. Saulson told the paper that the gallery, which opened last September, is “4.8 inches on my property,” and that “there’s a leak in the basement.” The gallery says that Mr. Saulson threw a piece of poop on their terrace. Let’s investigate, shall we?

The gallery is attempting to bar Mr. Saulson, a sculptor, from so much as touching their building. They allege he has tampered with the $20 million structure before he supposedly flung a turd onto their terrace. But how do they know Mr. Saulson was the flinger in question? Their litigation explains:

The fact that the final resting place of that object was south of its point of impact made clear that it had been thrown from the north, that is, 259 Bowery. At the time the fecal matter was discovered, the Gallery was open to the public.

We have to assume, due to the clunky legalese, that “point of impact” means “stain.” Is it not possible that the feces-thrower tossed the turd from the south, only to put backspin on it? If so, we are dealing with not only a malicious scat fiend, but also a talented athlete intent on framing Mr. Saulson.

Sure, we are playing Devil’s Advocate, but it is important to factor in all possible scenarios for a case with this much on the line.

We must also admit that our knowledge and expertise of forensics, physics, and fecal matter are not on the level of the investigators and lawyers involved, so we can only hope they use every resource they have at their disposal to solve this mystery once and for all.

A crap shot in Nolita [NYP]