I Know Who Should Play The Three Strippers In Gypsy!


As you know, Barbra Streisand is reportedly going to make a movie where she’s Grandma Rose — I mean Mama Rose — in Gypsy.

Well, I have a great idea as to who should play the worn-out yet educational ecdysiasts who sing “You Gotta Get a Gimmick” to young Gypsy Rose Lee as they show off the shtick that makes their disrobing unique.

I may have even read this on a Broadway board, so if I’ve purloined it, forgive me, but it’s just too perfect and besides, great theater queen minds think alike:

The veteran burlesque gals should be portrayed by three ladies who’ve played Mama Rose to acclaim:

Tyne Daly,

Bernadette Peters,

and Patti LuPone.

Those three would bump it with a trumpet, a switch, and some refinement like no one before them.

They’d sing the shit out of that number.

They can even hold their various awards as they grind their butts.

And the publicity this coup would generate would make up for any potential ill will this project might stir up.

Oh, please, Babs, listen to me and do this right!

Come on, hon. Grandma’s gotta let go!