What Would You Tell A Child To Make The World Seem Nicer?


Remember that Oscar-winning foreign film Life Is Beautiful, in which Roberto Benigni tells his son that the Holocaust is a big carnival game, to make it go down a wittle easier?

So what would you tell a child today to make them feel better about certain glaring realities in the world?

How about …

*People who seem to be living in the streets are just waiting for their duplexes to be renovated.

*The Bachmanns don’t really exist. They’re evil pumpkins that appear whenever we breathe in too much air and get giddy. Click on the remote and they magically vanish!

*Sarah Palin doesn’t exist either. That’s just Tina Fey. Isn’t she a riot?

*Mitt Romney exists, but don’t worry. He can’t really get anywhere because he’s a Mormon.

*Reality shows are just holograms designed to make us feel better about ourselves.

And of course …

*When people yell “fag,” they’re actually just asking for a cigarette. But don’t give them one. That’s illegal!