Raise a toast of tap water to my fizzy new column, in which I detail my years of experience in dealing with alcoholics and drug addicts on the scene, a situation that has left me almost as fried as a bucket of extra-crispy.
I’m not talking about tragic cases that need instant help.
I’m referring to the lifetime users who will always be around — the ones who annoy you endlessly with drama, mishaps, and fuckups while refusing to concede that they have a problem, leaving it in your best interest to run for the hills while throwing garlic at them (which they’ll only put in their drink, so don’t bother).
I tell you just how to spot these self-indulgent party poopers (since they usually lie and say they’re sober to throw you off the scent).
I inform you all about the grandiosity unreliability, arrogance, and paranoia that’s enhanced by every snort.
And I give you sound reasons for keeping your distance from them as if they were gremlins trying to bring your plane down while claiming to be friends.
Part of it is tough love, and the rest of it is “tough shit!”
Enjoy. Get mad. Cheers.