How about we…arrange a blind date in which we will be watched by an array of other people, media professionals and whatnot, but really, whoever happens to be curious about what other people do on their blind dates (because we’re all afraid of failing in this regard, right?). How about we go on it tonight, and make sure the whole event is an actual event, and is livestreamed on the Internet, and maybe, let’s add along some drinking games for the folks at home! Except, we don’t have to organize this, because it is already here.
Tonight, “PR whiz Bianca” (of Small Girls PR) and “graphic designer James,” who are, of course, lovely people and who have agreed to the above, will be going on a date at White Star Bar on the Lower East Side. How About We, the dating site that pairs people based on activity rather than profile-matching, has organized the event, which, as things have to be nowadays, is also interactive. Yes, you can play along at home with the DateCam Drinking game, join in the live chat about the date, or watch it with a bunch of your friends from Destination Bar tonight starting at 8 p.m. You can also follow @howaboutwe on Twitter for their live commentary. Because this is an event, there must be live commentary, from a variety of esteemed, live persons:
Mallory Blair (“The Best Friend”), Rick Webb (“The Mentor”), Lauren Leto and Patrick Moberg of Bnter, commenting on the first date banter, and Thomas Edwards (The Professional Wingman) commenting on body language.
Remember when you had a blind date and you showed up and the guy or girl wasn’t that great and, in fact, the banter and body language and just about everything else was terrible, mortifying really, but you got sauced and made out with them anyway, felt briefly conflicted/guilty, then put it out of your mind and moved on by morning? And maybe, maybe, some other judge-y people were watching you and mocking your date, but it doesn’t matter because you were too drunk to care and there’s no historical record of any of that every happening, except in some small and rapidly decreasing portion of your human brain, and possibly in your diary, which you have since burned into a pile of rubbish or keep under lock and key?
Those days are over. This is not even the first of these gambits. This is a franchise. Blame technology for the impending reality in which everything we do will be watched by other people as entertainment as we conduct the motions of life upon a 2-dimensional monitor screen to the sound of the irregular beeping from our Tweetdeck, and sometimes a gchat.
But back to the drinking game!
If they move in a little closer to each other — everybody say “ooooooooo!” and drink.
If they talk about sex at all — everybody make the “bow-chikka-wown-wow” porn music noise and drink.
If either of them checks/plays with their phone — tweet “PUT THE PHONE DOWN @howaboutwe #datecam” and drink.
If either of them mentions Facebook — change your status to “I’m watching the HowAboutWe DateCam livestreamed blind date…and they’re talking about Facebook right now” raise your glasses “To Mark Zuckerberg!”
If either of them mentions Twitter — tweet “BOTTOMS UP @howaboutwe #datecam” and drink heartily.
Drink heartily, oh yes. For posterity.