To anyone whose ass I ever saved who responded by knifing me in the back!

Who didn’t even put the fork on the left!

Who did exactly what I begged them not to do!

Who repeated confidential things I said!

Who made up confidential things I said!

Who delighted in my occasional downturns because they made me closer to their level?

Who tried to discredit me to those who respected me!

Who stood me up when it was their freakin’ idea in the first place!

Who kept changing their excuses about why they fucked up!

Who said they were a compassionate person when they were really a neo-Nazi of the heart!

Who left me out because I tell the truth!

Who lies for a living!

Who tried to pull the condom off!

Who found my sore spot and pressed on it with both hands!

Who didn’t invite me!

Who called in favors for years, then left me high and dry when I needed one!

Who put cheese on my burger when I distinctly said, “No cheese”!

Everyone else, have a nice day.