Oh, Halloween. You’re a pretty rad holiday because what’s better than celebrating candy? And, as Mean Girls‘ Cady Heron astutely noted, “Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” But let’s get real. The sexy nurse and sexy policewoman costumes are so overplayed. What’s really needed are some sexy culinary costumes. And who knew, there’s actually a bounty of them out in the world! Here are five of the best/worst ones we could find. Sorry, dudes, the slutty sexy costume market seems to be (totally unfairly, we might add) limited to the ladies.
Sexy Fruit Salad: While you’re bound to get cold wearing this costume, we’re a big fan of all the different types of fruit that come affixed to this bright yellow ensemble. Not just limited to the standard apples and oranges, you get vibrant-colored bananas, grapes, lemons, limes, and strawberries, too. It even comes with a lovely headband and ruffled skirt.
Sexy Champagne: Mais oui! This costume has a particular genius because of the umlaut over the “u” in “bubbly,” making it sound just like “boob-ly.” The fishnets add an extra layer of sex appeal, but those are extra. But the corkscrew hat will undoubtedly give people lots of good pickup lines, such as, “Pop this champagne bottle, baby.”
Sexy Edible Body Sushi: Now, edible body sushi is just about the grossest type of meal anyone could ever envision, yet people seem to think it’s sexy. But really, you’re eating raw fish off someone’s boob. Ew. Slightly less gross is the costume version of the dress, which features a nude bodysuit with attachable nigiri and maki rolls. Yeah, there’s really no need for additional comment on this one.
Sexy Chinese Takeout: Everyone enjoys Chinese takeout, even more so when the box is filled boobs! Plus, you’ll undoubtedly start up conversations with other partygoers by letting them guess what the fortune inside the cookie reads.
Sexy Sugar Babies: What happened to her pants? Oh, wait, it’s a dress! With this costume, you can be everyone’s favorite stick-to-your-teeth candy, and, perhaps, someone else’s bona fide sugar baby come nightfall.