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Everyone Loves Dolphins Except Me!


Dolphin Tale is a big hit, and every time a dolphin appears on cable, the ratings go higher than Jersey Shore.

And if it’s a dolphin on the Jersey Shore, forgetaboutit!

Everyone simply adores dolphins, lining up for a chance to see them jump and splash and indulge in belly-to-belly copulation and even kill porpoises at times, though they’re not really competitors. (So what’s the porpoise?)

But something about them looks too placid and austere to me.

You can’t read their feelings!

I know the above still from Dolphin Tale managed to coach a Mona Lisa smile out of the title creature, but usually they look as implacable as a crime boss on the witness stand.

Give me cuter animals any day!

I love me a meerkat, adore a mouse deer, live for a muntjac.

Those are the animals that should be getting big-time agents and landing major feature films.

Until they do, I will stick with animation.

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