News & Politics

Amish Beard-Cutting Thugs Arrested


Three of the men who stand accused of breaking into fellow Amish people’s homes in Ohio at night and cutting off their beards and hair have been arrested. Members of the tiny, weirdo Bergholz Clan, helmed by the unbelievably-named Sam Mullet, are suspected in the hair/beard attacks. Two of Mullet’s sons and another man have been taken into custody.

Apparently the attacks were “meant to humiliate and punish those Amish whose faith, according to some, has weakened.”

As for ringleader Sam Mullet:

“It’s all religion,” he maintained, “that’s why we can’t understand why the sheriff has his nose in our business. It started with us excommunicating members that weren’t listening or obeying our laws. That’s where it all started. I didn’t know the courts could stick their nose in religion, but that seems what they did here.”

The courts can’t stick their nose in religion, but they can stick their nose in breaking into people’s houses and assaulting them! The local sheriff says the arrests aren’t over; two more men will be taken into custody this week.

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