Seems like just the other day women were getting their panties in a bunch about Chick Beer, the brew whose six-pack has been fashioned to look like a purse and which is low-cal and low-carb because it was a beer that was “exclusively for the ladies.” Well, now comes word of yet another beverage that’s at the center of a gender controversy: Dr. Pepper Ten, which is specifically “not for women.” Because, you know, only women can drink “diet” soda.
This new soda is packaged in a sleek gray can (no pale colors or fizzy bubbles for macho dudes!) but still contains the 23 essential flavors that makes the unique soft drink. Yet it contains only 10 (manly) calories, as opposed to the 150 in a regular can. The whole ad campaign for the soda is kind of ridiculous, the highlight being the 10 “Man’Ments” that Dr. Pepper Ten drinkers must abide by:
Dr Pepper’s 10 Man’Ments
1. Thou shalt not OMG. If it’s not exploding, it’s not exciting.
2. Thou shalt not pucker up. Kissy faces are never manly.
3. Thou shalt not post pics of your outfit. Unless it’s battle armor and you have a giant sword and/or small bazooka.
4. Thou shalt not post furry animal videos. Exceptions made for beasts fighting to the death and bears destroying idyllic picnic scenes.
5. Thou shalt not make a “man-gagement” album. That is all.
6. Thou shalt not share your horoscope. Daily.
7. Thou shalt not Instagram your lunch. Real men each lunch, not tweet it.
8. Thou shalt not untag unflattering pics. We know you were there.
9. Thou shalt not end a comment with a =).
10. Thou shalt not make a Facbeook profile for your pet, baby and/or imaginary friend.
But they forgot the 11th one: Thou shalt not follow other people’s commandments.