New York

NYPD Still Not Quite Clear on the Legality of Toplessness


Yesterday, partaking of the 80-degrees-and-sunny October day, the Outdoor Co-ed Topless Pulp Fiction Appreciation Society, a group we wrote of in early September, met for a last hurrah of the summer in Central Park with their copies of Getting Off, Choke Hold, and Quarry’s Ex. One of the participants gave us the scoop, which involved a confrontation with the NYPD, who urged them to clothe themselves. “First a single police officer came by to ask everyone to put their tops back on, and then two more police officers came, and then four,” says our tipster. “They sounded stressed out and uncomfortable and explained that they’d ‘gotten complaints’ from other people in the park that there were women sunbathing topless.” (Possibly, they thought they’d encountered an uptown branch of Occupy Wall Street.)

A member of the group explained that they appreciated the NYPD’s position, but, at the same time, toplessness was legal, and that while the group would put their tops back on for a few minutes as a matter of courtesy to their neighbors, they couldn’t legally be made to do so. “This seemed to confuse the police, who spent some time on their walkie-talkies, conferring with their superiors. Happily, the people they spoke to were well-informed and must have confirmed that what we were saying was true, since the police then came back and apologized, saying, ‘You know, the law keeps changing, we hear one thing and then another’ (the law’s been the same since 1992, but never mind), and wished us a good day and left.”

As for the rest of the day, our tipster continued,

“We also had a visit from a wheelchair-bound rapper who introduced himself as TDotFlames, who hung around for a while, sharing his philosophy about unity and divisiveness and why women have it harder than men. Then came a couple of teenagers peddling candy bars for charity who expressed astonishment at our brazenness (“There’s a cop right over there!” one exclaimed, to which TDotFlames replied, “There’s nothing these women are doing that’s illegal.” God bless him.) One of the adorable scamps then directed a question at one of the group’s members: “Can I feel your titties?” She declined.”

All in a day’s work, we suppose.

We’re told by the Society that they’re brainstorming topless winter activities that won’t be too chilly. Get in touch with them if you have any ideas.

We Love Indian Summer [OCTPFAS]

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