Deep Thoughts from a ‘Pizza Douche’: How a Slice Is Like Cleavage


Sure, he’s from Chicago and he’s been called a “pizza douche,” but Patrick Bertoletti, who happens to be ranked second in the International Federation of Competitive Eating, says he’s eaten at more than 200 different pizzerias around the world, including New York’s most famous pie shops. He talks slices over at Food Republic:

My take is that the correlation of a slice to whole pie is similar to the correlation between cleavage and full nudity. Sure, cleavage is nice, but you don’t get a true sense of what you’re dealing with. Just go to a topless joint in Tijuana and you’ll know what I mean. When ordering a whole pizza, there is no amount of vertical stripes, push-up bras, glitter, opaque makeup or parmesan that can hide its true traits and faults.

Wonder what this guy would have to say about that.