News & Politics

Mister PeePee, Notorious Starbucks Masturbator, Has Gotten Shy


Mister PeePee is the delightful Twitter handle of a delightful fellow, a guy with big dreams, those dreams being to masturbate in the bathroom of every single New York City Starbucks. Aim high, PeePee — but not that high, you might damage something. After PeePee’s efforts were discussed in various notable blogs including the Awl, Gawker, and Daily Intel, following his grand plan being revealed on Starbucks Gossip (and also on his own podcast), PeePee seems to have gotten cold feet. His Tweets are protected and his Foursquare page is missing, as is that original podcast.

Is he still masturbating in Starbucks bathrooms in hopes of entering the Guinness Book of World Masturbation Records? We simply don’t know, though given our life experience, it’s safe to say that old habits die hard, and old dogs don’t learn new tricks, generally speaking. But we don’t even know this PeePee, except for what he’s told us, which is, this: “When it comes to being a good lover, a guy has to ask a girl what she wants and be willing to give it to her.”

What we do know is that no girl wants to date a Starbucks serial masturbator, and we’re making our coffee at home from now on.

Update: Mister PeePee is animated now, from Big Apple Daily:

15 minutes is probably too long for this guy.

Meet the grossest Starbucks customer in NYC [Starbucks Gossip]

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