For young, hip, sexy New Yorkers, Halloween is a weekend-long affair that encompasses non-stop parties, alcohol abuse, and looking like a total ho (only in the best way, of course). The young, the fabulous, and the not-so fabulous will be out terrorizing the city in esoterically witty costumes that they will most likely freeze to death in. But maybe you’re not the going out type. Maybe you’re the kind of guy or gal who would rather just chill with some Ben & Jerry’s and old episodes of The Good Wife. We have ideas for you, too!
Option One: Drinking Alone
Just because you don’t feel like hitting da club doesn’t mean you can’t develop cirrhosis of the liver! Hit up Trader Joes, get a few bottles of Chuck, and relax. Maybe take a drunken bubble bath! Treat yoself.
Option Two: Build Your Own Haunted House
Turning one’s home into a haunted house is incredibly easy! Grab some fake cobwebs, peel some grapes for a bowl full of eyeballs, turn off all the lights. Put up photos of what scares you most! Pitbulls? A bitch from middle school? The 1%? Hang out and think about your plans for the future. You’ll be terrified in no time!
Option Three: Watch American Horror Story and Repeatedly Mock It
Self explanatory. Also mourn the fact that Mrs. Coach is now having sex with ghosts.
Option Four: Lure in the Kiddies
Hand out candy! If you’re feeling sad and vindictive, hand out apples.
Option Five: Just Suck It Up
Good lord, it’s Halloween! Just go out and spend the next few days regretting it. Isn’t that the whole point anyway?