New York

Hilarious Battle of Self Promoters!

by

I just got an email inviting me and some others to a party being shot for a reality show, which I thought was perfectly nice.

But here’s what author Michael Gross wrote back (for everyone on the CC’d list to read):

“I will certainly try to come, but my book will be published next Tuesday, so I may be busy!

“I hope you’ll visit mgross.com to read about it, buy a copy, post and tweet about it, comment on it, and maybe buy another copy.

“I’m also thrilled to tell you that Home Box Office is buying the book for a series by Joel Silver, who gave us HBO’s Tales From The Crypt and the Sherlock Holmes, Matrix, and Die Hard movies (among many, many others).

“Here are some advance notices:

“‘Murderers, lawyers, actors, pornographers, tycoons, and addicts….Fantasy and ambition, cheating and careless waste…Gross’s research is meticulous. Hard to read. Harder to put down.’ –LOS ANGELES MAGAZINE

“‘Rich in incident and full of thwarted ambition, visionary zeal, conspicuous consumption [and] salacious gossip…A juicy, breezily told social history of La La Land, deal by deal.’ –KIRKUS REVIEWS

“‘Mister Gross leaves no high society stone un-turned…untold and sometimes sordid stories.’ –THE REAL ESTALKER

“‘Stripping bare the glamorous West Coast,from Beverly Hills to Bel-Air, Holmby Hills, Beverly Park, etc… Michael’s never been a lap dog of his subjects. And he never holds back the dish.’ –GEORGE CHRISTY, BEVERLY HILLS COURIER

“‘A name-dropper’s paradise.’ –LIBRARY JOURNAL

“‘Gross writes with an aficionado’s zeal.’ –PUBLISHERS WEEKLY

“If you got this far, you may also want to come to Barnes & Noble at 150 East 86th Street (near Lexington Avenue) on Wednesday November 2 at 7 PM for my first signing and talk about the book, or Book Soup on Sunset in L.A. on November 10th at the same hour for the second. I hope to see you.

“Best,

“M Gross”

Gosh, how about just “Sorry, I can’t make it”?

Moments later, I received another mass email from Gross and assumed it was going to apologize for the weirdness of responding to the reality star’s succinct “save the date” with a press release.

But it was the same press release again!

Help!