A year before he made the immortal Bedtime for Bonzo (above), Ronald Reagan knew when it was bedtime for Piper Laurie.
He and the starlet appeared together in the 1950 romantic comedy Louisa, during the making of which the future prez taunted her with his manly charms and other attributes.
After filming was completed, the B-actor, aged 40, went all the way with Piper, 18, but it wasn’t pretty.
Writes Piper in her new memoir:
“The actual intimacy with Ronnie was without grace.”
He was more than competent sexually, she writes, but “he was also a bit of a show-off.
“He made sure I was aware of the length of time he had been ‘ardent.’ It was 40 minutes.
“And he told me how much the condom cost. In all fairness, I suppose that was to reassure me.”
Charmed, I’m sure.
But Ronnie’s worst offense was to tell Piper there was something wrong with her because she hadn’t had lots and lots of orgasms in that 40 minutes. (“You’ve got to see a doctor about your abnormality.”)
He also suggested that a medical professional could tell her why it hurt so much at first.
Silly Ronnie. She was a virgin!
Ronnie’s sexual coldness surfaced again many years later when he ignored the AIDS plague until he was shamed into mentioning it!
But I guess that’s off-topic.