Eddie Murphy has followed his homophobic pal Brett Ratner out the gay door, and now the Oscars are starting from square zero again, much like the Democrats did when John Edwards was revealed to have fathered a love child.
So who should swoop in and save the show’s ass?
Naturally, I’m going to stick with my friends as choices.
(1) Keith Olbermann
It would be an Oscars everyone remembers for all time, especially … everyone! The opening monologue alone!
(2) Joan Rivers
She’d be a riot, and she can incorporate Fashion Police into the actual event instead of having to wait till afterward to tear everyone’s outfits apart.
(3) Kathy Griffin
Instead of dissing on reality stars, Kathy can concentrate on dicing up Hollywood biggies — and they’d be forced to take it because they have to sit there and see if they win!
(4) Billy Crystal
Last year, when Billy emerged in the middle of the dismal telecast, the audience greeted him as if Jesus had returned one more time. And though he wasn’t all that funny, he’ll surely sparkle with some good material. We want to see that opening montage again!
(P.S.: No, he’s not a friend, but it feels like he is.)
I’m now hearing that multiple hosts might be the way the show goes, so let’s start booking the above four, plus Whoopi Goldberg and Neil Patrick Harris.
This could be a godsend.