News & Politics

The Epic A to Z Guide of Expressions That Should Be Retired From the Internet (and IRL)

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There are times in the great big blogoverse in which we are faced with the fact that certain things we have been doing are somewhat or hugely annoying. Upon that discovery, we generally continue to do those things, but with a nagging feeling of guilt and self-doubt that only continues to grow in intensity until we can’t stand it any longer and throw up our hands and shout, “Make it stop!” And then, we blame everyone else, because they made us do it.

In a similar vein, and because it’s Monday, here is a hand-crafted artisanal guide of commonly used words and phrases that we can take no longer, whether online or outside the confines of an internet connection. Mostly we hate them because they are overused, lazy, cliched, boring, deplorably cutesy, or could be better put another way. Other times we hate them because, well, frankly, haters gonna hate. Read on, after the jump.

Numbers and symbols
@
<3, or, as we call it at VV HQ: "less than three" # (jokey use of hashtags) !!!, !!!!, !!!!! :), ;), :(, 😛

A
adksjlfsjflka;djkfl;a (and any variation of such)
Always Be _____ ; AB_
amazeballs
artisanal
awesomesauce

B
bandwidth
bloggerati
blowcaine
breaking!
bucket list

C
chillaxin’
cougar
CrackBerry
crowdsourcing, as in “We crowdsourced this listicle.”
curated “We curated it, too!”

D
D-bag
dayum
“Dear _________ please stop __________ sincerely _______”
d00dz (what the fuck is this, even? Oh.)

E
e-____ (e-anything as a cutesy way of saying it is online is simply horrid. Horrid.)
epic

F
fail
fail, epic; a/k/a EPIC FAIL
fail whale
FTW
fuck you, you fuckin’ fuck
FWIW

G
gasm
“go viral” (yuck)
guru

H
hate
hate follow
haterade
haters gonna hate
hipster
hive mind
humble brag (Fact: the humble brag simply functions as a braggier, inside-baseball version of the traditional brag. Avoid it at all costs.)

I
I can haz _____
IDK
I haz a ____
inside baseball
Internets, the
Internetz, the
IRL

J
jam, as in “this is my jam”

K
kewl
killing it

L
le sigh
listicle
LMFAO
LOL
LOLOL
LOLOLOLLLLL
LULZ M

make it stop (make it stop!)
meh
meme
meta

N
#nerdprom
“new media”
next level
nom (and any variations thereof — if you really make that noise while you eat, you should be banned from the public, unless you are an adorable animal.)
NSFW

O
O hai
Occupy ___ (FWIW: your joke is probably not funny)
OMG
ON IT (We <3 u, The Times Is On It, we just don’t heart the expression).

P
ping me
planking

Q
Qwikster (RIP)

R
rahr (accompanied by clawed hand gesture; see also “cougar”)
relevant to my interests
“retweets are not endorsements”
ripped from the headlines
ROFLMAO

S
sadz
SHOCKING!
shots fired!
SMH
SMDH
Snovember (just you wait!)
Snowtober
swaaaag
swag; also, #swag

T
THIS: or This! (followed by retweet/link/quote)
this is why we can’t have nice things
too soon
totes
trending
tweeps

U
unsee, as in, “I cannot unsee this.”

V
vacay
vajazzle
vindicated!

W
wait for it…
webinar
weaksauce
win
winners
winning, especially “winning the internet(s/z)”
wow…just wow

X
Xoxoxoxoxoxo (and any variation thereof)
X-treme

Y
Ya rly
Y U No?
You’re doing it WRONG

Z
ZOMG (!!!!)

Disclaimer: We cannot be held accountable for which of these words and phrases we may continue to use now and again, because, while knowing is half the battle, it’s time in the market that really matters.

If you feel we missed something, get in touch.

Special thanks to our friends and frenemies who added to this list, especially the following:
@BuzzFeed, @ChristRobbins, @Pixie_Casey, @CeeLew, @buckyturco, @mylestanzer, @frantaclaus, @maura, @ohrohin, @arisayswhat, @nickgreene, @_rosiegray. <3!!!!

More thanks to @PimpRadio, @pbump, @peterhyman, @munipenny for their recent additions to the ever-evolving list.

[JDoll / @thisisjendoll]

Go to Runnin’ Scared for all our latest news coverage.

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