There are times in the great big blogoverse in which we are faced with the fact that certain things we have been doing are somewhat or hugely annoying. Upon that discovery, we generally continue to do those things, but with a nagging feeling of guilt and self-doubt that only continues to grow in intensity until we can’t stand it any longer and throw up our hands and shout, “Make it stop!” And then, we blame everyone else, because they made us do it.
In a similar vein, and because it’s Monday, here is a hand-crafted artisanal guide of commonly used words and phrases that we can take no longer, whether online or outside the confines of an internet connection. Mostly we hate them because they are overused, lazy, cliched, boring, deplorably cutesy, or could be better put another way. Other times we hate them because, well, frankly, haters gonna hate.
Numbers and symbols
<3, or, as we call it at VV HQ: “less than three”
# (jokey use of hashtags)
!!!, !!!!, !!!!!
:), ;), :(, 😛
adksjlfsjflka;djkfl;a (and any variation of such)
Always Be _____ ; AB_
crowdsourcing, as in “We crowdsourced this listicle.”
curated “We curated it, too!”
“Dear _________ please stop __________ sincerely _______”
d00dz (what the fuck is this, even? Oh.)
e-____ (e-anything as a cutesy way of saying it is online is simply horrid. Horrid.)
fail, epic; a/k/a EPIC FAIL
fuck you, you fuckin’ fuck
“go viral” (yuck)
haters gonna hate
humble brag (Fact: the humble brag simply functions as a braggier, inside-baseball version of the traditional brag. Avoid it at all costs.)
I can haz _____
I haz a ____
jam, as in “this is my jam”
make it stop (make it stop!)
nom (and any variations thereof — if you really make that noise while you eat, you should be banned from the public, unless you are an adorable animal.)
Occupy ___ (FWIW: your joke is probably not funny)
ON IT (We <3 u, The Times Is On It, we just don’t heart the expression).
rahr (accompanied by clawed hand gesture; see also “cougar”)
relevant to my interests
“retweets are not endorsements”
ripped from the headlines
Snovember (just you wait!)
swag; also, #swag
THIS: or This! (followed by retweet/link/quote)
this is why we can’t have nice things
unsee, as in, “I cannot unsee this.”
wait for it…
winning, especially “winning the internet(s/z)”
Xoxoxoxoxoxo (and any variation thereof)
Y U No?
You’re doing it WRONG
Disclaimer: We cannot be held accountable for which of these words and phrases we may continue to use now and again, because, while knowing is half the battle, it’s time in the market that really matters.
If you feel we missed something, get in touch.