Today is Thanksgiving here in the States, and in addition to getting irritated by Nickelback’s existence, lots of Americans will probably celebrate by eating pie. The word “pie” is a bit more prevalent in the lyrics of non-“Weird Al” Yankovic-crafted popular music than one might a dessert to be, but that’s because of the way the term can handily double as a euphemism for a lady’s nether regions. This particular double-entendre use goes all the way back to 1533, according to the slang dictionary crafter Jonathon Green: “First cite I have is 1533: ‘But how say you, Sir John, was it good, your pie?’. Double entendre, as is next in 1600,” he told us (thanks to the ever-resourceful Maud Newton for the research assistance). And so it went—and oh, it went!—from there. (Language expert Ben Zimmer also notes that “‘Pie’ is part of larger set of slang: beaver pie, fur pie, hair pie, hairburger, hairy clam, bearded clam.” Quite the feast.) A bunch of the songs listed below take the euphemistic usage and run with it, for better or worse, but there are also scientific applications and materialism critiques below. Happy holiday!
Thanksgiving can also be a solemn occasion to remember how slicing a pie can be an excellent way to teach the younger members of your family about the concept of fractions.
Mötley Crüe, “Slice Of Your Pie”
This Dr. Feelgood deep cut is not the best entrant in the Crüe catalog, but it’s still better than anything off Girls Girls Girls.
D’Angelo, “Devil’s Pie”
This loose, stinging riff on materialism samples Fat Joe, Teddy Pendergrass, Raekwon, and other luminaries.
Evan Taubenfeld, “Pumpkin Pie”
Posting this piece of overpowering pop more for the video, which tells a sad-then-happy song via Twitter before turning into Fall Out Boy’s clip for “The Take Over, The Break’s Over.” The song’s hooky enough, though.
Warrant, “Cherry Pie”
White Trash, “Apple Pie”
This song by the Queens funk-metal outfit White Trash—still going! also every time I hear Unknown Mortal Orchestra I am vaguely reminded of them?—was an early entrant in the Buzz Bin, MTV’s showcase for bands on the verge. It’s a dopey, fun ode to a pretty lady that never fails to cheer me up. Also, the video was shot under the 59th Street Bridge, and it’s probably obvious that its vintage is from another time, wayyyy back before the strip clubs got kicked out and all those planters got installed.