Getting Runnin’ Scared (and friends) to review a hangover cure called Blowfish — available in Ricky’s now, soon in your nearest Duane Reade — the morning after the Village Voice Web Awards is a bit like herding cats. One of us lost her Blowfish, one of us didn’t even have a hangover (for real), one of us never had Blowfish to begin with, and one of us doesn’t seem to be awake yet (update: now he is). But in any case, some of us actually tried Blowfish, and found it quite satisfactory, even somewhat delicious! Read on for our critical review, after the jump.
Jen: Upon waking, I immediately started bothering all of my Blowfish reviewers for their Blowfish reviews. Then I got out of bed and rummaged through my purse, where my own Blowfish, which contains aspirin and caffeine to hit all of your hangover’s dreaded symptoms, waited for me. I poured a cold glass of water, opened the Blowfish packet, and dropped the two tablets in the glass, where they began to fizz immediately. The Blowfish packaging reads “Own the night. Save the day.” Is there truth in advertising?
My mind wandered. The tablets fizzed to their death. I picked up the glass, preparing myself for that horrible water mouth-taste that follows a night of drinking — Were those Maker’s Mark shots I paid for? Is my credit card still in my wallet? Yes. Win. — and, yet, when I sipped, found myself wanting to drink more. It was slightly lemony, fizzy, and positively refreshing. The bleary-headedness and intense urge for a piece of pizza began to subside. The day seemed positively cheery. Thus fortified, I blogged about pot. I give Blowfish an A. While my hangover was not as dire as it could have been, it would not be exaggerating to call the night owned and the day saved. At least, so far.
This name has been redacted to protect the innocent:
A glass of water didn’t work so I took two aspirin, which didn’t work, so I had a small coffee, which didn’t work, so I tried the Blowfish, which tasted good and made me tap my foot uncontrollably, but didn’t work, so I ate an egg sandwich and drank another glass of water. My headache is dulled and I’m definitely caffeinated, although I could fall asleep in under three minutes. I still feel like shit, but at least I’m full.
Frannie, who did not get any Blowfish and instead sent her “regular hangover cure” as a comparison:
Wake up an hour before you’re supposed to because your roommate is wearing heels and walking around the apartment. Yell at her through your closed door and then get up and go to the kitchen where roommate laughs at you. Compete against yourself in a water drinking competition; win at least twice. Refill BRITA filter because you’re not done with it. Order breakfast sandwich (shout out Leo’s) and a chocolate milk because you heard it helps athletes post-race and you needed to make a delivery minimum. Go back to bed until food comes. Wake up, debate eating in bed, decide your mother raised you better than that, eat standing up in kitchen. Drink another 2 glasses of water. Go to bathroom to find Advil, take with chocolate milk. Go back to bed for ~1 hour. Gauge hangover. Realize *none* of this has worked and make mental note to tell marketing team to serve sandwiches at next year’s Web Awards. Also make mental note to leave angry letter on new neighbor’s door about animal cruelty re: leaving dog cooped up and barking all day. Debate calling in sick but realize everyone saw you slamming rum and ginger ales last night. Text Jen and ask about Blowfishing.
As a responsible consumer, I read the ingredients on everything I ingest. Naturally, when I was asked to try Blowfish, the first thing I did was check the label. Aspirin? Caffeine? What the hell is this mumbo jumbo? The proven hangover cures I know of all involve plenty of sleep and a good kick in the stomach from the night security guard of a 24-hours Fuddruckers. Despite not being either of these things, Blowfish seemed to work.
Who would’ve thought the answer to too much alcohol was drugs all along?
Next question for the makers of Blowfish: Can we get a corporate discount on a bulk order?