Recall, if you will, last Christmas-time in New York City. Aside from the gifts you did or didn’t give or receive, there was ever so much white stuff, blanketing the ground, preventing you from flying home from wherever you happened to be, forcing you to stay with your family and go marginally insane for an extra 2 or 3 or 5 days. It was so holidayish, except for the roads not being cleared and snowplows crushing cars and Mayor Bloomberg “going missing” and everyone complaining, and some people deserving to complain. Alas, we’ll be missing out on that this year. Even though it was really quite freezing yesterday, chances of a seasonal precipitation blanket for New Yorkers and other Eastern Seaboard types are minimal at best.
According to WeatherTrends 360, the total U.S. snowfall for December is down 73 percent from last year and is 55 percent below average. This is the least snow in five years, says meteorologist Bill Kirk — and it’s also the warmest in about five years, nationally speaking. In fact, while last year 50 percent of the U.S. was under snow by now, only 23.7 percent currently is — mostly in high elevations in the western mountains.
Meanwhile, the fuck-with-the-weather gods who brought us snow in October will be making sure the southern U.S. is chilly and the upper Midwest and East are quite mild for Christmas. And parts of the Southwest and Central Plains may get a major snowstorm today.
The plus side: Here in New York, you won’t have to shovel anything. The minus side: No fun words like “Snowmageddon” to throw around while we’re inside drinking hot chocolate and “working from home.” Also, your snow boots are so lonely.
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This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on December 19, 2011