May The Holidays Bring….


*A toast to Marcus Bachmann: “Bottoms up!”

*Lindsay Lohan living behind bars instead of dancing on top of them.

*Mothers who keep tiaras off their toddlers.

*Comedy Central obtaining rights to broadcast all future Republican debates.

*A new man for Demi Moore who doesn’t cheat or tweet.

*The hope that Rebecca Black is just a one-hit wonder.

*President Bill Maher

*An Alexander McQueen skull clutch.

*A new Arnold Schwarzenegger action flick: The Sperminator.

*A Harvey Milkshake for Governor Cuomo.

*A new Twitter handle for Osama bin laden — @thebottomofthesea.

*A Broadway theater named after Matt Stone and Trey Parker.

And mainly:

*Me no longer cribbing off Carolines Comedy Club holiday cards (which all the above items were borrowed from).

Happy merry!

This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on December 20, 2011

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