I know “hate” and “Christmas” probably shouldn’t be in the same sentence, so how about “despise”?
Anyway, I absolutely loathe “The Little Drummer Boy”.
I find it slow and tedious and pretentious and annoying.
Hearing it over and over again is the equivalent of putting hot pokers under my nails.
The only version I can tolerate is the duet between Bing Crosby and David Bowie, and that’s only because it’s so unbelievably bizarre that the weirdness makes it rather compelling.
The other Christmas ditty I want to go away for all time is “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.”
It’s a brilliant tune, mind you, and Judy Garland sang the shit out of it, but it’s just so sad and poignant and depressing that instead of lifting a glass of eggnog by the end of it, you want to put shards of glass to your veins.
Every time that song comes on somewhere, I no longer believe in Santa Claus — or in the value of life itself.
Make it stop!
A Christmas song I can take??
“All I Want for Christmas Is You,” sung by Mariah Carey at her best.
Sure, it’s a bittersweet message, but the song is upbeat and fun!
And as long as we’re stuck with this freakin’ holiday every year, let’s make it FUN!!!
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on December 22, 2011