I got dozens of them, actually, but two stand above the pack for their unique mixture of kitschy appeal and downright usefulness.
First of all, I can now brush my teeth to the sound of Justin Bieber singing “U Smile!”
Yes, my friend Anita Sarko got me the Justin Bieber singing toothbrush!
As I make my pearly whites sparkle, Justin croons and reminds me of just how white and scary teeth can be.
(He also does “Baby baby baby …” to remind me of paternity suits.)
It’s a two-hit toothbrush!
And that’s not all!
Crafty Anita also gifted me wth the Bob Dylan Christmas album!
Before you try to look up whether there really is such a thing, let me assure you that there is, and it’s not a spoof. At least not intentionally.
As Bob croaks his favorite yuletide standards like “Here Comes Santa Claus” and “Silver Bells,” you start wondering if this is a Saturday Night Live sketch and Bob’s credibility has gone a-blowing in the wind.
Then you play it again for some more laffs.
Then you play it 20 more times.
Thank you, Santa!
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on December 27, 2011