The Biggest Losers of 2011


Here they are, folks, in all their illustrious loserhood.

Step up and throw a spitball at them!

(6) President Obama

He had some triumphant moments, mind you, but he couldn’t seem to polish the rotten economy he inherited, despite some poignant efforts. It was downright painful to watch sometimes, but I’m still totally with him.

(5) Sarah Palin and the Bachmanns

They’re lumped together as idiocy-spouting dummos with lip gloss (including Marcus) who subverted their own chances with a mixture of scandals and overexposure. Blech. Bye.

(4) Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Love child, never meant to be …”

(3) John Galliano, Tracy Morgan, Brett Ratner

These spewers found it spewing right back in their faces as they lost all kinds of opportunities because they just couldn’t shut the fuck up. At least they’ve provided a valuable cautionary tale for everyone else.

(2) Dr. Conrad Murray

Sorry, Conrad, just because a patient is willing to pay for something, that doesn’t mean you do it — or we’d all be put under every night.

(1) Anthony Weiner

He had promise. He had hope. He had a good record. He also had the balls to go and show them on Twitter. Weiner wasn’t really guilty of anything except massive bad judgment, but that, unfortunately, is not considered acceptable when you’re in the realm of public office.

Sorry, losers!