Eggies: Is the World Ready?


The telly barfs out infomercials with machine-gun speed; rarely do I turn around from my Web surfing to see what’s being advertised. In this case, though, I paid attention as a bewildered and downcast woman in black and white grimaced as she peeled eggs in such a way that they crumbled all over the place, the shell shooting in every direction. I thought: Lady, what you need is egg-peeling lessons. “Peeling one egg the regular way can take forever!” intones the omniscient announcer.

But then along came Eggies. These plastic molds are shaped, for no apparent reason, like half eggs. Meaning that once you pour the uncooked white and yolk in there and boil, you end up with something that looks like half an egg, only gigantic. Surrealing yourself out. Weird. And weirdest of all is that you have to carefully crack the shell to even get the yolk and albumen out, using the same amount of energy it would take to peel the cooked egg.

But then, this isn’t the first time your TV has tried to convince you to buy something that’s really nothing.

Excuse me, I have to watch a commercial for Lint Lizard.

Do not watch this infomercial if you value your sanity!

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