Tom Cruise Is Hot Again! What Do We Do?


The last time I looked at the box-office reports, Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol was still soaring atop the chart, raking in post-holiday business that put other films (like Shame) to shame.

Even more distressingly, the Brad Bird-directed popcorn flick got good reviews and is generally considered a wham-bam terrific action film with adrenaline and humor, not just a rote by-the-numbers sequel done out of desperate obligation.

Unthinkable as it may seem, Tom Cruise is hot again!

After years of disgracing himself with couch jumping and other stunts seemingly designed to make him hep to the younger crowd, Tom has actually achieved his goal of returning to mega movie stardom at all costs.

He’s still got it, still projecting it, and, most importantly, still there.

He’s still showing his middle section!

And he even has a big part in the Rock of Ages movie coming out this year.

The man (maybe thanks to his incredible connections) is just plain unstoppable.

So how do we stop him?