Scientists Blame Facebook and Twitter on Animals


And now for some good news about the human condition: We can’t be held fully accountable for the creation of the two horrible timesucks that make social interaction meaningless Facebook and Twitter.

Scientists say that it’s the animals’ fault — specifically, smart animals such as dolphins, whales, and monkeys — that people behave like cliquish dicks online and IRL.

Researchers say that animals actually invented social networks. They also say that the way people behave in online communities is no different than the manner in which these species behave as groups, according to the Daily Mail.

The research, conducted by Dr. David Lusseau at the University of Aberdeen’s School of Biological Sciences, strongly indicates that animals — just like most people — are assholes who don’t really think for themselves.

“Experts found evidence of animals forming cliques and gathering information to help make group decisions — in much the same way as humans use Facebook Groups to streamline discussions,” the Daily Mail reports.

The six degrees of separation rule also appears to hold true in the animal kingdom among “dolphins, whales, primates, and hooved animals.”

The Daily Mail points out that animals do this “without computers or smartphones.”