But Alana, aged six, is the cutest, realest, funniest, most outrageous entrant since Little Miss Sunshine, and she’s made me believe again.
Among her priceless utterances:
“I’m a superstar because I do pageants.”
“My special juice is gonna help me win!”
“My momma nickname is Coupon Queen.”
“Beauty is so boring. I don’t wanna do it!”
“I want to win money! A dollar makes me holler, honey boo boo.”
Best of all, she rolls her flabby stomach around and says, “This is what I show to the judges!”
And they’d better vote for this honey-boo-boo child because she’s a winner, baby.