Why did no one tell me about this before?
Apparently, people unself-consciously run around Disney World — and in fact, the entire state of Florida — chomping on gigantic fried turkey legs!!!
They also do so at rodeos, at county fairs, and in their own backyards!
I’m told that for the uninitiated, the sight of such an activity is startling, as if one had been transported back to the caveman era — or maybe just swept away to a theme park in a state that’s sunny way too much and has plummeting real estate values!
They sell this stuff right next to ice cream and funnel cakes, as if a deep-fried turkey leg the size of a baseball bat is a perfectly natural thing to chomp on in public.
And what the hell do they do with the rest of all those turkeys?
No, don’t ask.
But I’ll stick to my mango-roasted oysters with crème fraîche and a garni, thank you.