Newt Gingrich Dumped His Wife, Then Gave Family Values Speech


He barely waited 48 hours to do so!

Republicans are always so anxious to flaunt their hypocrisies in public.

This happened in 1999 when presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich called his second wife, Marianne, to drop her into the abyss and/or ask for an open marriage.

He had been nuzzling on someone else as a main course, you see.

Marianne was stunned and — just in time for the election — she’s finally spoken up about it.

She spilled the rancid beans on Nightline last night, and she also talked to The Washington Post, feeling the time is right to clear the air, especially since whispering campaigns to smear her might be in the early stages.


This underlines the fact that Newt’s propensity for philandering and disrespecting of vows — while more predictable than a bad poly mix — makes him one of the least credible people to ever argue for traditional marriage.

After all, this is the sanctimonious prig who argued that gay marriage is “an aberration” and “fundamentally goes against everything we know”!

I feel that even before he gave her the dump, Newt was already in violation of his sacred family values.

I mean Marianne was his second wife! And the woman he was cheating with, Callista, is his third wife! You’re only supposed to have one, right?

Newt’s reaction to Marianne’s statements?

“Tawdry and inappropriate.”

I know you are, but what am I?