Theater archives

Why I Absolutely Detest The Theater!


Here’s my new column, in which I dramatically go through the reasons I absolutely loathe any kind of theater!

Some of the radically repellent trends that come to mind:

*The jukebox shows that leave you with a gleeful medley that makes your forget how bad it all was

*The dumbing down of choreography to accommodate big names who are spastic

*The lack of entrance applause for medium-sized personages, resulting in the sound of two hands–mine–clapping in utter embarrassment

*And the overabundance of audience members who are convinced that they should loudly narrate every moment.

(“He’s supposed to be Martin Luther King.” “Look, honey, she’s flying with her umbrella!”)

Anyway, turn off your cell phones, remove your pacemakers, pull out your hair plugs, sit down with your $10 Coke, and enjoy.

It lasts 90 minutes, no intermission.

And it’s on TDF!