Mitt Romney Condoms, ‘for Anyone With an Elitist Penis,’ Hit the Market


And now we present a form of birth control that will make people want to be abstinent. Forever.

Runnin’ Scared introduces the Mitt Romney condom — recently unveiled by the same New York company that first marketed Barack Obama rubbers in 2008 (h/t New York Post).

Say It With a Condom’s “Never Settle” model, available for $4.95, is perfect for “anyone with an elitist penis” and “great for any position” (yuk yuk yuk), according to the website.

The geniuses behind this gagphylactic, listing its many “features and benefits,” make promises rivaling those of ANY political candidate:

“Romney Condoms are tax free so even the poor can afford them”; “this is one ‘safety net’ that doesn’t have any holes”; and “keeps unemployment low by preventing additions to the work force” are among the not-so-sexy slogans.

If Mitt Romney condoms don’t satisfy your cravings for soft-making shtick, consider the Sarah Palin variety (when abortion is not an option) or the John McCain offering (old but not expired).