I may look old, but not nearly as old as I really am!
So I’m finally going public with my skin care secrets in order to help others in their battle with Mr. Crow’s Feet.
True, I happen to have really good genes, and there’s nothing you can really do to get some. (They’re not available on Amazon. I checked.)
But my morning regimen is very helpful, too, so here it is, you lucky people:
(1) Splash your face with warm water. Then liberally apply some St. Ives apricot scrub to your face and neck.
(2) Fifteen minutes later, go in the shower and wash it off with Kiehl’s Facial Fuel.
(3) Out of the shower, completely dry yourself. Then gently apply Vitamin E oil (24,000 IU) to your face and neck, with particular attention to the area under your eyes. Don’t overdo it, mind you — you don’t want to look as greasy as a used frying pan all day. Dabble in smallish amounts and carefully blend the stuff in with your fingers.
Voilà! Beauty for the ages!
Believe me, it really works. Everyone thinks I have a portrait in the attic.
Twenty years from now, you will wake up and say, “I look the same as I did 20 years ago!”
Especially if you look horrible now. But even if you don’t!