First off, Year of the Takeout has some splainin’ to do — when we got home around 11:30 p.m., the Internet was out, and our neighbors’ Wi-Fi didn’t seem to be working, either. (In all fairness they might have changed their password because YotT kept using it and slowing it down, but whatevs …) Anyway, we’re sorry we’re late but we promise to make it up to you!
So yes, back to our regularly scheduled programming. YotT has been trying to push the boundaries of Chinese takeout — originally starting off with Cantonese-inspired joints and infrequently trying the occasional “fusion” or even kosher approach. It’s been mainly interesting and wonderfully weird at times.
Yesterday, YotT decided to try a vaguely Chinese vegetarian restaurant — located near Union Square — and discovered a never-before-seen item that was so disjointed-sounding that it begged to be tried: a $10.95 Tex-Mex moo shu. Tex-mex moo shu! WTF, right?
Promised was a spinach “crepe” — which sure sounds a lot like the moo shu pancake — filled with beans, barley, and vegetable protein, with a side of peanut carrot slaw and two taro egg rolls.
Delivered, however, was perhaps the worst bean burrito YotT has ever eaten (said moo shu “crepe” was apparently a ruse for a stale, green tortilla); we’re talking more bland than the refried variety you would get at Taco Bell — and at least the fast-food joint gives you sauce packs to jazz up the fare. We couldn’t even power through the second half.
The slaw was OK, as were the guac and the egg rolls (though the taro was more of a texture-oriented filling than one full of taste), but YotT does not want to pay 11 bucks for moo shu and get a flavorless wrap that could be sold at a gas station just for some pretty, colorful sides.
Now, this place might have been having a bad day — and YotT does not have the luxury of revisiting the resto immediately to compare. So, we’re not going to be completely bitchy and name a place that, for lack of a better term, YotT is just shitting on.
Besides, this scathing write-up fulfills the public-service element of reviewing, because an informed reader will know to run from Tex-Mex moo shu. And, hopefully, the restaurateurs will take note and get their shit together — this is AWFUL and this not moo shu, and it shouldn’t be sold as such.
However, YotT will be back at some point in the future, and if another plate is just as bad as before, we’ll happily disclose all the deets.
Follow Victoria Bekiempis @vicbekiempis.