New York

Let’s Write The Worst Personal Ad In History Together


I’ll start.

Hello. I’m 967 pounds, but it looks good on my frame.

I’m 3′ 5″. I’m actually 5′ 9″, but I lean over a lot for attention.

My doctor said I need to curb my eating. I changed doctors.

I collect dead rats as a hobby.

Sick, you say? Well, it got me on TV.

I have no money, and that’s where you come in.

Let’s have lots of long, romantic dinners. It will reduce the amount of times I have to mooch off friends or live off lawsuits.

I’m an Aries. I have a mullet and wear palazzo pants. You should too.

And you must have a shockingly high IQ and a body that makes my mouth drop open enough so spaghetti falls out.

My favorite star of Mob Wives is … all of them.

All right, keep this going, people …

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