“Free Chocha For Everybody!” Crows New Miss LEZ Winner


And even a gay man could appreciate the wonderful message.

This was at last night’s Miss LEZ pageant, organized and hosted by Murray Hill, the big-shticked hoofer who puts the “king” back in “fucking” and who “makes meat loaf look like Salisbury steak.”

The annual event — which I judged, as usual — turned the Knitting Factory upside down with shimmying body parts, oozing fluids, and kooky, inclusive talent.

It turns out these LEZ-zies are even more outrageous than their drag-queen counterparts.

First runner-up was “Miss Choice Cunts,” Rebecca Macabre, who advocated “period sex,” threw used tampons at the crowd, and when asked why she only gets horny once a month, replied, “It’s five days!”

She was a tough one to beat — or clean up after — but out came “Miss Wild Card,” Sophia Urista (above).

She was doing her Chocha Libre Mexican wrestler character, bumping her wildly hairy crotch at the crowd and chanting “Chocha libre! Chocha libre!” before freeing her vocal pipes for a hard strutting “Proud Mary.”

She’s the new Miss LEZ.

But all the gals were fab, including Brown Meshugena (who’s half-black, half-Jewish, and all woman), sexy librarian type Bambi Galore, bow-tie-wearing candidate Lea Robinson, and vampy skater/stripper Mary Wanna.

I haven’t seen so much poon since I was born — and some of them even shaved.

Congrats to all the gals, kudos to last year’s winner Drae Campbell, who walked off stage with a big “Thank You” scrawled on her butt cheeks, and congrats to fellow judge World Famous “BOB” for finding “a straight bear” to marry.

He’s perfect for the world’s only F-to-F — and they’re heading to Dollywood!

The pageantry never ends.