News & Politics

Bronx Teen Accused Of Stealing A Friggin’ Bulldozer And Demolishing A Playground

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If there’s one thing that’s more fun than a playground, it’s demolishing one with a friggin’ bulldozer!

That’s what Queens County District Attorney Richard Brown says a 17-year-old Bronx boy did earlier this week, destroying a brand new playground in Far Rockaway during what we’ll assume was the most awesome day of this kid’s entire life.

Brown says the suspect, Allan Swafford, broke into the Land-Tek construction site at the intersection of
Lewmay Road and Beach 30th Street sometime between 5
p.m. Sunday and 6:40 a.m. Monday and stole — amongst other fun-for-a-17-year-old-boy items, including a nail gun — the keys to a bulldozer that was parked outside.

As you might imagine, when a 17-year-old boy finds the keys to a bulldozer, he’s not gonna not try to drive it.

Swafford, Brown says, drove the bulldozer “through a playground under construction, destroying nine sections of
decorative fencing and forty feet of curbing; damaging the sidewalk and
decorative pilings; and ripping two plastic slides from the playground.”

Additionally, Swafford “damaged four platforms including
roofing, stairs, posts and railings; destroyed a suspended walking
bridge; damaged a small slide and tore down an additional fifty feet of
fencing.”

Unfortunately for Swafford, a witness watched him driving the bulldozer “with its
front shovel swinging back and forth causing damage to the property.” He was arrested yesterday.

District Attorney buzzkill offers the following assessment of Swafford’s alleged crimes:

“The defendant is accused of causing
extensive damage to a brand new playground in Far Rockaway that was
under construction and set to open this summer – bringing some welcome
joy into the lives of the area’s many disadvantaged children. Instead
of having a fun place to spend some time this summer, the neighborhood
children will be left to wonder why someone would commit such a
senseless crime. ”

Swafford, as you might imagine, is in some pretty serious shit, despite his young age — he was booked on one count each of
third-degree burglary, second-degree criminal mischief, and first-degree
unauthorized use of a vehicle. If convicted, he’s looking at up to seven years in prison, which, in our immature humble opinion, is probably worth it.

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