I Can’t Stand TV!! 43 Reasons Why I’m Tossing My Remote!!


Yes, it was inevitable.

My column about the many reasons why the mere sight of a television set makes me hurl my (couch) potatoes.

Take your eyeballs off that flat-screen for a second and feast on my hilariously truthful rant about why I detest:

*All those channels with not a thing to watch

*Close-ups of people without faces, always shown while I’m eating shredded beef

*Reality shows that either breed criminals or give them a chance at stardom

*Animated shows that never go off the air, no matter how stagnant their plotlines and characterizations become

*News anchors who dress like they’re going to play blackjack

*Also, sexism, mixed messages, censorship, botched justice, and chefs with fake accents!

And so much more.

Don’t change the channel right now.

Not until you read this important screed!

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