If you’re reading this in the bathroom, stay there–it’ll have that much more relevance.
In Full Service–the tell-all book by old-time Hollywood hustler/pimp Scott Bowers–the esteemed Mr. Bowels, I mean Bowers, talks about at least two old-time movie stars who thought a number two was a perfect 10.
According to a book review by Andrew Holleran in The Gay & Lesbian Review, Bowers reveals that Tyrone Power had a predilection for “the pee and the poo.”
And now we know why he starred in Abandon Ship, not Abandon S**t.
But blustery, brilliant Oscar winner Charles Laughton could top that.
Bowers wrote that Laughton once put together a sandwich in the kitchen while Bowers and an assigned hustler watched.
“Having arranged the lettuce, tomato, and buttered bread, Laughton needs only one more ingredient–provided by the hustler during a quick trip to the bathroom–after which the lettuce and tomatoes reappear with a light brown smear.”
No, it wasn’t Nutella. This was your proverbial s**t sandwich.
That led the hustler to amusingly whisper to Bowers, “Why did he even take the trouble to wash the fucking lettuce and tomatoes”?
Go figure–though I suddenly know why he starred in Mutiny on the Bounty Paper Towels.