I’m not talking about the mobile homes that most of today’s pop stars were conceived in.
I mean movie star trailers–those large parked vehicles where a fabulous diva is supposed to recline while waiting for the director to summon them to their closeup.
I’ve had my own trailer twice in my life–yes, I’m bragging–and believe me, I was beside myself with joy over it.
A trailer has always been a statusy show biz item–something you can dine off of for years, dropping hints into conversations like “Did I mention that I’ve had my own trailer twice in my life?”
It’s something you never think you, of all people, will be assigned, so when you get one it’s a special moment, sort of like getting your first chemistry set or training bra.
But it turns out it’s not really all that fabulous!
The truth is that no matter how glamly appointed they are–and they truly are filled with all sorts of lovely naugahide and nice flowers and other amenities–you feel a tiny bit trapped in there.
It feels remote, closed off, unexciting, nervous-making, and downright bizarre, unless you absolutely adore spending your leisure time in parked vehicles.
It’s your dazzling day of being a star and you’re spending most of it feeling buried alive in a glorified Winnebego!
Unless you have someone to have sex with–or run lines with–the last place you’d want to be stuck during a shooting is in there, especially when there’s so much fun to be had where the lights and exciting people are.
But hey, Mr. Producer, don’t think this means I don’t want to be assigned another trailer!
Au contraire, kiss kiss!
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on May 4, 2012