At a press conference at the Waldorf-Astoria yesterday, General Aladeen–a/k/a Sacha Baron Cohen in The Dictator–unsurprisingly backed Mitt Romney for prez.
Explained the general:
“He’d make a great dictator. He’s incredibly wealthy but pays no taxes. And it’s not much of a leap from firing people to firing squads.”
Aladeen also noted that Romney can strap dissidents to the hood of his car. Hard to argue with qualifications like that!
Other remarkable revelations from the press conference:
*Aladeen said he slept with Kim Kardashian, who’s so hairy “that when I pulled down her panties, I thought I was looking in a mirror.”
*He might be the father of Megan Fox‘s rumored baby, and if so, “It’s the first ever anal conception.”
*As for the time he spilled Kim Jong II’s ashes on Ryan Seacrest: “It’s not the first time he had an Asian man poured all over his chest.”
*Aladeen also commented on cinema classics, saying he especially loves the fantasy films–“like Lord of the Rings and Schindler’s List.”
*And his favorite film of all “is from 1963 and features JFK in Dallas.”
*Asked who he can trust, Aladeen said, “My 25 virgins. And I know they’re virgins because I test their virginity every night with the head of my penis.”
But Aladeen’s main mission is to generate support for misunderstood dictators everywhere. He lamented the fact that they’re dropping like flies–“Saddam Hussein, Gaddafi, Oprah…”
As we were allowed to leave, he urged us, “Write good reviews, and your families will be released!”
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on May 8, 2012