Here Are The Drugs You Should Never, Ever Do


So you might have heard about Rudy Eugene, the face-eating cannibal in Miami who almost fatally gnawed off most of a homeless man’s face, before he was shot dead by police. Cops suspect that Eugene, 31, was under the influence of bath salts at the time of the incident.

Now, these reports have yet to be confirmed, and we’re hardly people to jump on an anti-drug bandwagon. In fact, we’ve called bullshit on New York’s lugubrious legislative process when it comes to making a decision about medical marijuana and have given Gov. Andrew Cuomo flack for banning synthetic weed.

However, something very important needs to be said. Even if you are the most open minded, experimental person EVAR, there are still drugs that you probably just shouldn’t fuck with. It’s not a judgmental “drugs are just bad, mmkay thing.” It’s a “we care about your safety and well being” thing, so please listen! We heart you!

So, if you are smart enough to agree that the potential danger of turning into a cannibal outweighs the potential fun of feeling high, for example, here are some substances you should avoid.


Two people the Voice just chatted with “swear” they “accidentally” did meth. They thought they were snorting coke, only to realize that they had blown the wrong drug. Though that does sound like the most bullshit story ever, the result of their major mess up provides good insight in what not to do. Here’s what we were told via GChat: “pleasure only lasts for a little while, but the horrible side effects last a long time… sleeplessness, loss of appetite, restlessness, twitchiness, sweating, stomachaches, disordered thinking, etc.” The hangover, this person told us, is far worse than stimulants such as cocaine, e, or mali, which reportedly tend to make you feel like shit for days. Another said: “I was up for four days. Worst four days of my fucking life…the last two days of being awake were awful. I don’t know how people get hooked on that shit.”


This is the opiate equivalent of meth. In Russia, where heroin addicts have recently had little to fill their fix, the demand for a designer drug has prompted charlatan chemists to turn over-the-counter codeine into a powerful, injectable depressant. Dubbed as “the drug that eats junkies,” it tends to kill users within a year of their first hit, and quickly results in gangrenous, open ulcers that rot all the way to the bone.


And you though crack was bad! It is, and you should still consider it on our list, but this drug, reportedly popular in the poorest parts of the Amazon basin, is twice as addictive as crack and five times as cheap, according to the Guardian. A mix of cocaine paste, gasoline, kerosine, and quicklime, it can keep users up for 7-10 days in a “zombie”-like state. Like krokodil, it can kill within a year.


Trainspotting, anyone?


Go read Party Monster and you will get the sense that k-holes aren’t all that fun. A friend told us that being on Special K feels like sinking into syrup and being unable to move or think of a way out of it, and called it the worst drug ever.

Fake Weed

You can smoke this and survive, like these brave souls at Gothamist. But we know a handful people who have tried it, and they all say that it hits the lungs far harder than actual marijuana and causes a mildly annoying visual high.


Apparently bath salts aren’t the only drugs that turn people into flesh-eating fuckups. PCP has been involved in a couple of cannibalism cases, such as a dad who, while high on PCP, reportedly ate his son’s eyeballs. And let’s not forget Big Lurch. The rapper is serving a life sentence after killing his roommate and consuming part of her lung. Note: Psychiatrists have said that PCP is not necessarily correlated with more violence, but that acts of violence committed on PCP tend to be more severe.

Bath Salts

See the beginning of this post.