Green Lantern Is Gay! Here Are His Special Powers!


Yes, one more superhero has emerged as a super-queero.

The Green Lantern–most recently played by Ryan Reynolds (albeit as a womanizer)–is now an out gay media mogul who’s fearless and honest and has as little use for the closet as he does for the color purple.

And I have some marvelous ideas as to what his special powers should be.

*The ability to turn lime green into seafoam green at will

*The ability to change the name of D.C. comics to A.C.-D.C. comics

*The ability to stop Avengers II, III, IV and so on from being produced, in the name of sanity and originality

*The ability to make me read a comic book for the first time since Archie & Veronica

*The ability to look really fierce.